the potential

The expectation of great accomplishments must have been brought on my a belief that those accomplishments would either be a sign of a happy and fulfilled life or a sacrifice for the betterment of mankind...
this is assuming that sacrifice would be pleasing to the creator of mankind.

If it is the former and that happiness is the state that we should strive for then the act of sharing our accomplishments would be purely for entertainments sake, and not as a measuring tool for our own endeavors.

If this is the case then why do i feel like i have to create and then share my work to feel some validation in my life.Like I'm saying " look at me. I create ART! I don't just work a full time job a monkey could do and go home every night to go online or watch a movie or drink with my friends.
In addition to all that I also make ART!.
See now I am validated.
My style of dress, my mannerism and sheer lack of concern for consumerist betterment makes sense now."

I dont want to be a part of it.
Nor do I want to destroy it.
I am a product of my generation.

I am apathy.


......Or so i would like to believe.
I am a little less ROCK and ROLL then all that.

There lingers...and on occasion emerges a little curiosity about what existence is and whether or not I have a role to play in it.
But in all honesty it is more then a little curiosity it probably actually is something that consumes me daily and that I find a break from with distractions like friend,drinks,food,sex,movies,internet.

And Although I know that this is the definition of life for most of us.
And that maybe this is really it itself.
I wish I wasn't so self conscious of it or
could somehow escape the structure itself.

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